To the Committee for the Study of the Irrelevant,

This past weekend, Shelly, Gary, and I went to a gigantic antique show in the middle of a cornfield in Bouckville, NY. After hours of trekking through tents filled with things that were old, dusty, broken, and expensive and subsequently buying a great set of jugs, we were nearly overcome with heat exhaustion and turned our weary heads toward the other cornfield in which we'd parked our car.

But fate, as it usually does, intervened.

A stand of old photographs revealed a couple of very familiar faces. It is. They are.

Them.

The fact that it is they is beyond any doubt. It is to be accepted a priori by the committee. Their appearance is so familiar, so well-known, that it could be no one else. Only they would be here now, once again reminding us of the great things that they did and the influences that they exert over us every day.

It's practically mystical.

And mysterious, because I can't remember exactly who they are. That is why I turn to you, the committee to help explain their significance to us all.

(For those of you new to the ad hoc committee, your answers are nearly as important as the vehemence with which you defend them. There are samples of our previous studies at http://dave.sipley.net/adhoc/ )

The floor is open for a general discussion. Please reply all: when responding.

The Chair

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Oh, YOU remember…great Uncle Delmar and Auntie Gladeen from Missouri. Yes, she’s the one that lost her thumb in that freak canning accident. They never DID find out which can of great beans that thumb flew into… Remember – their son Otis was slow in arithmetic because his mother only taught him to count on his hands by factors of nine.

I think this was the picture that they had made for their 50th wedding anniversary. Great Auntie couldn’t find her girdle, but Uncle Delmar convinced her she didn’t need one. Trying to make conversation, the photographer (just he snapped the flash) asked when the baby was due.

Funny…it was about this time that Great Auntie lost her other thumb in a freak assult. From what I hear, she was otherwise a very passive woman.

Shelly

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Yes, I DO remember them. That is great Uncle Melvin and Aunt Inas (aka aunt anus) Uncle Melvin was a miserly s.o.b. very tight with a penny. He worked as a towpath operator in Madison county. He repudiated any thing new fangled or modern and refused to update their home with electricity or indoor plumbing. Aunt Inas was a good woman and wonderful cook but she was jealous of Melvin's mule. She trouble with her feet and had difficulty making it up and down stairs and to the buck house. It was DAYS sometimes before she was able to relieve herself which left her in a perpetual state of gastroenteritis.----

beverly BeDker

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Errrr... This must be some sort of sign from the future... It's what you and Shelly will look like in forty years.

Erika

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I'm not sure I can explain, but I did run the photo through some imaging software we use here to clean up xray scans. I think the results may point toward further inquiry.

Marty

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