Marty's & Dave's Dialog on Hills Like Hemmingway's, Only Completely Different

Clearly, this will make more sense if you've already read "Hills Like White Elephants" by Hemmingway. Many full-text versions are out there on the web, and here's one. After writing my version, I sent it to the most literate man that I know. He didn't get it, making me feel vindicated for my original misreading of Hemmingway and smug for my original miswriting like Hemmingway. This is an edited transcript of some e-mails we exchanged on the subject. As usual, Marty was brilliant.

-----Original Message-----
From: Martin Jensen
Sent: Thursday, July 03, 2003 9:39 AM
To: Dave Sipley
Subject: Re: The Story

It's the reincarnation of James Joyce doing a reincarnation of Hemmingway. Or vice versa. I love it.

The voice changes from third person to first in the last section, which I presume is intentional, and part of the magic.

This is extremely subtle and artful and thoroughly enjoyable. When he declares he wants to write a story based on metempsychosis*, but then avers that it's already been done, I laughed out loud. Given the Poppa-esque tone of the work, that's quite a leap, and you just slipped it right in there. Then it's write back on the meter, without missing a beat.

* I didn't get it that he had mispronounced the word until I just looked it up on webster online.

----- Original Message -----
From: Dave Sipley
To: 'Martin Jensen'
Sent: Thursday, July 03, 2003 9:14 AM
Subject: RE: The Story

You missed the secret riddle of the story, which means that it's safe to put up on my website. The third->first person transition was intentional. I was sure you'd get it...

-----Original Message-----
From: Martin Jensen
Sent: Thursday, July 03, 2003 10:52 PM
To: Dave Sipley
Subject: Re: The Story

Okay. Let me try to parse through your message. Answer: MASTURBATION

Here is what happened. I went back to your story after I read your "riddle" comments. Then I decided, "It's about masturbation!"

Then I went upstairs to the guybrary and pulled the first book I thought might have the Hemmingway story. It did.

The Oxford Book of Short Stories counts this as the only Hemmingway story worth inclusion. High praise. I guess.

And I read it. And it was OBVIOUSLY about, well, you know. And I wondered if I was just getting this for the first time, or if I actually got it at some previous reading, and of course, I wasn't sure.

So I drank a beer. And it was good. It was cool and the woman in the chair next to me looked at me and said, "So?"

And I replied, "It's nothing. It's just that I want you to want to know that whatever you want, it's all right with me."

And she said, "I want it to be like it was. You know, before. And I want you to love me."

And I said, "I love you. You know I love you."

And she said, "But I want you to love me after. You know."

And that's when I decided the story was about masturbation.

I thought, after reading Hemmingway, that maybe it was about something more dire, but maybe in a male way. Like, you know. That thing. The thing that I did. Where they let the air in. It was simple. You know.

But then I looked at the story again. I decided it was about masturbation. And it was good.

-----Original Message-----
From: Martin Jensen [mailto:martinjensen@cox.net]
Sent: Friday, August 08, 2003 8:02 PM
To: Dave Sipley
Subject: Re: Copyright Violation In Progress

So, what is it about?

-----Original Message-----
From: Dave Sipley [mailto:dave@sipley.net]
Sent: Saturday, August 09, 2003 1:02 PM
To: 'Martin Jensen'
Subject: RE: Copyright Violation In Progress

Don't you know, according to SU and other idiots, the reader creates his or her own meaning. Reading is a dialog between author and reader, one where the reader is a full participant, bringing along the scope of his or her experiences. It's not up to the author, usually a white male, to dictate meaning, which only reinforces current power structures.

It's a load of crap, but you think it's about masturbation.

Yanko ergo sum.

-----Original Message-----
From: Martin Jensen [mailto:martinjensen@cox.net]
Sent: Tuesday, August 12, 2003 10:44 PM
To: Dave Sipley
Subject: Re: Copyright Violation In Progress

Well, I wanted to say it was about vasectomy, but that seemed, too well, you know.

But what you're saying is that, if I think it's about masturbation, then it IS about masturbation, since I am creating my own meaning?

Sorry, I'm new at this postmodern dialectic stuff.

Also, I noticed on rereading, that you misspelled "Hemingway," and I, ever the attentive student, parroted the error. So many get the Old Man and the Sea confused with "Hemming's Motor News." The authors, however, are different.

One more thing. "Yanko Ergo Sum." Is that why they call you Yanky Dave?

Author's note: it was Yankee Dave, and no one calls me that anymore. I was a New Yorker living in Oklahoma. Though it is kind of funny that as a person who'd root for the Red Sox if I cared a lick for baseball, and rank George Steinbrenner right up there with George Bush and Darth Vader as people that I don't like very much, I call the pinstriped playboys from New York the "Yankers." I think I'll leave the spelling mistake the way it is.