The roster cut has already had a deep impact on Madcool Patriots Fans, causing one of them to state that, “he would look good in a green uniform.” Upon hearing this, we nearly choked on our pizza.

The Patriots are looking really thin at Madcool names right now, with Tebucky Jones leading the pack. Rookies Kenyatta Jones and Arther Love may be the best hope that the Pats have for developing Madcool talent. Backup lineman Grey Ruegamer is pretty madcool and Damien Woody remains a favorite. In the secondary, rookie Hakim Akbar has a catchy sound, and Je’Rod Cherry, twin brother to recently cut J’Juan Cherry may make the team at corner. I do not expect Kato Serawanga to make the team this year.

************************
(9/6/01)
The Patriots open their season against the Bengals this weekend.

This would be a good thing, as the Bengals are often rated in the Power Rankings below the Houston Texans, who don’t technically start playing until next season.

Unfortunately, according to the guy from USA Today who makes the funny pre-game predictions, the spread on the game is EVEN.

To make matters worse, he picked the Bengals, both straight up, and against the spread.

Former Hawaii Rainbow Adrian Klemm lost his starting tackle position to second round Who’s He? Draft pick Matt Light of Purdue. While Klemm has been nursing an elbow injury, Light missed out on most of preseason because of a sprained ankle. His total time in preseason play was thirty minutes. Aside from the embarrassment to Klemm, imagine what this does for protecting Drew Bledsoe’s rather expensive ass?

Quiz Question: What do you suppose the odds are of the game being televised nationally this weekend?

Answer: None. NBC has stopped broadcasting XFL games.

I used to read an incredible draft links page written by a guy named Manuel called Manuel’s Draft Links. Manuel has given up the writing of his draft links and is instead concentrating on his Patriots pages. He has some information about the expansion draft on his page as well. He had a list of players who were left unprotected by their teams when the Cleveland Browns entered the league. It was astonishing how many of those players have since played for the Patriots. The most amazing thing of all, though, was the fact that the Saint Louis Rams left a guy by the name of Kurt Warner, a quarterback unprotected. The Browns instead selected Scott Milanovich of Tampa Bay with their 29th pick. Milanovich may have been a good choice: he came from a high school that produced such quarterbacking talent as Syracuse’s Troy Nunes and recently went on to be the first pick of the LA Extreme in the XFL draft. Kurt Warner, on the other hand, remains the symbol of hope to pimply-faced grocery baggers everywhere, as he led his team to the Superbowl that year.

I also learned while researching material for that previous section that HE HATE ME’s real name is “Rod Smart”. When you get right down to it, that is one of the least madcool names I have ever heard in my life, coming from a guy that had the most madcool name I have ever heard in my life. Perhaps this should teach us that madcoolness IS only skin deep.

The Patriots signed Damon Huard to a three year, $3 million contract and watched as last year’s seventh round draft pick Tom Brady of Michigan beat him out. Brady is earning something like $298,000 to be in the Zolak zone. It’s destroyed bigger quarterbacks than him.

Reviewing the Patriots roster for madcoolness, I see trouble ahead especially on the defensive line, where we have a starting defensive tackle named Anthony Pleasant, just the sort of name you want to strike fear into opponents’ hearts. Perhaps the madcoolest name belongs to Tebucky’s third string backup, Free Safety Je’Rod Cherry. (Je’Rod is the twin brother of J’Juan Cherry who was cut last year after assaulting a woman in a bar, probably the first person he has actually hit in a decade. Supposedly Je’Rod does not have the emotional baggage that J’Juan has, but we simply wish for the Patriots to cut Lawyer Milloy for the Cherry Cherry defensive backfield.)

We could have a real problem if the Patriots win this weekend. We’ll be competing with the Bengals again this year for a really high draft pick. Only because of that (and the fact that disorder always increases) I’m predicting that we will have a really Pyrrhic victory this weekend. We’ll win, and end up drafting Scott Milanovich with the eighth pick in the draft.

************************
(9/9/01)

Okay, so things didn’t go so well this week.

I’m finding it hard to find analysis online that goes more in depth than any of the standard Associated Press stories. Instead, I will try my own.

The Patriots lost to the Bengals.

The Bengals did not have their first round draft pick playing for them, defensive end Justin Smith.

Drew Bledsoe was sacked four times. I don’t know if this was good or not compared to last year, as it was Matt Light’s first game as a pro at left tackle. The new She, Adrian Klemm, former Hawaii Rainbow, is still injured. For an analysis of the impact, see the previous line: the Bengals did not have first round draft pick Justin Smith.

It would seem that the Patriots would have an easy opening. While their first two games are on the road, they are against the Bengals and Panthers, who were supposed to be league doormats this year. Unfortunately, the “porous” Panthers defense shut down the Vikings this week, shocking everyone. Even Week #6 against San Diego doesn’t look easy, as the Patriots always have a hard time with Doug Flutie, and the Chargers sautéed the Redskins this week.

Other non-division games remain against the Falcons and Browns, Broncos, Rams, and Saints. With their last place finish last year, the Pats should have had a fairly easy ride, but now I’m really worried. While 52% of people sampled at Patriots.com believe that the Pats will go 7-9 this year, and I believe this year has a gigantic improvement over last year’s roster, things could actually get worse.

As I was working on this report, I received the following insights from Bill.

Dave,
It looks like the Pats are in great shape to move down in the power
rankings. Going into this weekend, they were rated 23rd. Here is a
look at the competition:
23) Patriots -- lost to the BENGALS (power ranking = 27)
24) Charges -- crushed the Redskins (power ranking = 22)
25) Chiefs -- BARELY lost to the Raiders (power ranking = 4)
26) Falcons -- BARELY lost to the 49ers (power ranking = 20)
27) Bengals -- beat the Pats
28) Browns -- BARELY lost to the Seahawks (power ranking = 21)
29) Bears -- lost to the Ravens (power ranking = 3), but played them tough
30) Panthers -- beat the Vikings (power ranking = 14)
31) Cowboys -- lost to the Buccaneers (power ranking = 8).

My prediction is that the Pats will fall to number 29, just ahead of the
Redskins and Cowboys. So, Mr. Draft Master, who we going to take with
the first pick? I can't wait until April (or whenever the draft is)!

Bill

P.S. Marsha's picks for week 2 are due by Wednesday afternoon. I'm
sure she would appreciate any insights you might have.

To address the first things, my picks would have differed from Marsha’s on four games this week. I was completely off on two of them, right on regarding St. Louis/Philly, and I will be correct regarding Denver/New York.

I think that the Patriots will end up going 4-12 this year, but that is a big product of wishful thinking. Two of those wins will be against the Jets, and we’ll know for certain about that after week three. One win will be against either the Falcons or Browns, and the other will be some win at random.

I like Bill’s analysis better than mine. It’s a good thing that we are not playing Dallas this year. We will be fighting them for the lottery pick. As the guy from USA Today wrote this week, “The Houston Texans have made their pick. The Dallas Cowboys are now on the clock.” I’m afraid the Pats will finish no better than fifth: Houston, Dallas, Bears, Browns, and us. Either the Panthers or Falcons may be competitive, but will trail off at the end of the season. I think that the December 9th matchup against the Browns will be key.

This Sporting News ranking of the top 100 prospects shows some bad things ahead for the Pats. I’ve selected the top 13 players simply because #13 is named “Pig Prather” which is right up there with Pork Chop Womack for pig-related nomenclature of the decade.
(Cut table)

Obviously, different sites will have different players ranked higher. I believe that Texas will not draft a quarterback first. Look at how few there are at the top this year. They'll pull a San Diego and grab one at the top of the second round. While Bryant "Mount" McKinnie has a cool nickname, I can't imagine him being taken by the Pats after two consecutive years of second and fourth round picks being used on offensive tackles (Light, The New She Klemm, Greg Robinson-Randall, and Yagotta Kenyatta Jones). Eliminating the secondary players and offensive tackles leaves only Andre Davis, WR, a couple of defensive linemen, and Ron Johnson of Minnesota. I think the Cowboys might bite on Quentin Jammer beccause he's from Texas and has a madcool name.

Basically, with the Patriots moving into a new stadium in 2002, Bob Kraft has to sell seats. He's got to do that and take the focus off of Bledsoe. The real stuff that focuses on their needs (RB, TE, WR) appears at spot #14:

(cut table)

Even so, at 5' 9", the guy is another Kevin Faulk. I'm not really liking what I'm seeing here. I hope they trade down to the mid-teens and pick up at least a second-rounder. Either that, or pick up the best wide receiver that they can, because they're going to lose She one way or another.

Here's what they've got in each round:

1 the best running back in the draft
2 I would love to have them draft Freeney here, but it will never happen (defensive end)
3 wide receiver (should still be the 100th pick or so)
4. linebacker
5. guard
5 (from Jacksonville) linebacker or nose tackle
No 6th, due to Wide-receiving dropout Dane Looker
7 punter
7 (from NY Jets) they won't make the team, so it doesn't matter.

While they really need a good tight end, they have two that are on injured reserve and will return next year. Just what they need: two low-round rookies that have missed a year of football.

Keep in mind, though, I could not have been any farther off in my draft predictions last year. The whole trade down to #50 in the second round and then trade up to get to #48 kind of confused me. And the taking two tight ends and a kicker thing did too.

This is really sad to be doing this after week one.

************************
(9/13/01)
Well,
I know that there’s been a lot going on this week, and there are undoubtedly a lot of questions on your mind, namely

How does the question, “Did you pack your bags yourself?” deter terrorists?
What of our civil liberties will we sacrifice to keep the country safe from terrorists?
What happened to the social security lockbox?
Don’t you think that those boys on United Flight 93 that fought back and crashed in a rural area deserve a spot on the All-Time Madden team? That is some serious, more-Schwarzenegger than Schwarzenegger shit.
How can someone take a book that is as fundamentally dull as the Koran and get so hopped up over it as to kill innocent people? I hate to say this, but this makes Southern Baptists look like tree-hugging hippies.
How is it that in an interview on Fox, Dan Quayle came across looking a lot smarter than the anchor? Oh, I guess I forgot to read the first part of that question.
Did your mother think you were the target of a terrorist attack in (fill in the name of your city here)?
How many more idiots will say that the innocence died on Tuesday?
How will this disastrous, awful day affect the Patriots?

Amazingly, NFL officials have still not decided to cancel this weekend’s games. They shouldn’t play for any number of reasons, including security, distraction, and a basic sense of decency or respect for the loss. Don’t get me wrong, after watching way too many hours of TV in the past couple of days, I would love to see some games this weekend, but there are too many reasons not to play. Many players are stranded at home, away from their teams, and many spent time in front of the TV instead of reviewing film. Patriots guard Joe Andruzzi gave a press conference where he was nearly crying, talking about his brother, a NYC fireman, who got out of the way soon enough. No one made fun of him, not because of the emotional contact, but because he weighs 300 pounds and hits people for a living.

Because of the setup of the schedule this year, there is only one week between the conference championship games and the Superbowl. Therefore, if the games are hosed this week, they are gone forever. This could really work out to our advantage, as the Panthers are one of the four teams that we could beat this year. The Bengals were the first.

From the Sporting News, this week, the Patriots are ranked 30 out of 31 teams, with only Dallas to beat out for the #2 pick in the draft. We still have games against #26 Atlanta and #29 Cleveland to get there, though. Here are some other quotes:

You lose to the Bengals and you get an `F' on the report card -- no questions asked.

Tebucky Jones has a long way to go until he becomes an impact free safety. Jones still appears to get confused in coverage while a lot of passes are completed in his area. Unfortunately, veteran Matt Stevens, who started over Jones against the Bengals, had trouble in coverage as well.

I hope that you’re all keeping a sense of humor in these tough times.

************************
(9/13/01)

Terry Glenn has won his appeal through arbitration. He may be able to return to the team after October 1st, using the first game of the season towards his four game suspension.

The ruling by the arbitrator is one that is really, really twisted. I’ll quote the Herald:

Glenn left Pats training camp on Aug. 3, and on that day the Pats sent Glenn a ``five-day letter'' saying they could suspend him on Aug. 8 if he didn't return to camp. But when the Pats didn't act on that date, Bloch determined they created a whole new deadline, one that had no specific end. That made their Aug. 15 decision to suspend Glenn improper, according to Bloch.

So basically, a message was sent out saying that She COULD be suspended if she wasn’t back in camp on August 8. But because they didn’t suspend her on August 8, it was necessary for the Patriots to give another warning that She must be in camp by another, specified date.

So along similar lines, if you don’t pay your income taxes by October 15, the IRS could take your house. But if they don’t on that day, it’s their fault for not notifying you that your taxes were due on that particular day.

Now he’s going after his signing bonus. Jerk.

************************
(9/19/01)

Welcome to week 3 of the season.

It’s a little hard to get up for this one, even though it’s the Jets. With the cancelled games last week and other important national occurrences, the football fans of the country seem distracted somehow. There’s not very much press going on about the game. Still, it is the Jets, and we must kick ass on general principle.

With the change in the NFL’s season, it looks like there will be only one wild card this year. In other words, since Tennessee and Baltimore will probably win those, in order for the Patriots to get into the playoffs, they will have to win the AFC east. In short, their odds of making the playoffs are exactly what they were two weeks ago: absolutely zero.

When Bill reminded us of the Power Rankings on The Sporting News last week, I was inspired to go out and read it. They do something interesting with the draft. They rank the teams according to record and point margins of wins and losses to come up with a draft order and have a mock draft EACH WEEK. You have no idea how cool this is. Because the Pats lost by six points (regardless of the fact that it was to the Bengals) they’d be picking #11 in this mock draft. They’ve got the Pats taking Kalimba Edwards, an outside linebacker/defensive end. He sounds just like Dwight Freeney, who is scheduled to go to the Cardinals at #17. By drafting Edwards, they’d be free to cut Willie McGinest. Check it out at (a dead link at The Sporting News.)

As of September 17, every one of the Patriots linebackers is listed as questionable due to injury, adding more consideration to the “draft a linebacker” theory. Here’s the Patriots depth chart (link removed), which is updated weekly:

It’s going to be a long season, folks, but there are only about seven months left until the draft.

************************
(9/24/01)

If you had told me in the preseason that after the end of week three that we would have the same record as the Tennessee Titans and Minnesota Vikings, and that our record was the mathematical inverse of San Diego’s and Cincinnati’s, I would have said, “cool.” The playoffs might be a possibility.

But when you consider that San Diego and Cincinnati are in first place in their divisions, and that Tennessee and Minnesota have the third-and fourth worst margins of losses in the league, you’d think that the world had turned upside down.

The only thing that remains consistent is us.

You see, our president, say what you want about him as long as it’s not critical because we are Americans, after all, said that life would go on in America. A lot of people said that we were living in a different world after September 11th. Apparently some of the teams of the NFL paid attention to the “different world” theory and started to change their football procedures accordingly. Not the Patriots. The Patriots are being Patriots, and are losing for democracy. As a writer on Patriots.com put it, “If you close your eyes, there's no way to distinguish this game from virtually every one of the 13 losses in the Belichick era. The team stays close, but falls short in the end.”

Curtis Martin gained his 10,001st yard against the Pats Sunday. When he was let go as a restricted free agent in 1998, Patriots officials said that he was on the downside of his career.

Speaking of downsides of one’s career, Drew Bledsoe was removed from the game with an apparent concussion. Given the state of his offensive line, this was bound to happen sooner or later. He actually left the locker room on a stretcher and was going to spend the night in the hospital for observation. Greg Robinson-Randall, the fourth round draft pick that has played more games at right tackle than second-round pick Adrian Klemm left the game with an injured arm.

The score of the game was 10-3. Halfway through the third quarter when I checked it online, it was 3-3. There must not be a lot to say about the game, as most of the AP stories seem to deal more with the emotions of the game and the Jets. We were 0-for-3 in the red zone, and despite the teams’ getting 4.1 yards per rush, fullback Marc Edwards had two fumbles which really screwed things up. Both of the Jets’ scores came after turnovers.

Apparently, the Patriots have cut wide receiver Torrance Small and replaced him with Linebacker Matt Chatham. Chatham played six games for the Patriots last year, but was cut earlier in this season. While it looked like a South Dakota dynasty was forming with Chatham and kicker Adam Viniteri, Chatham went to the University of South Dakota where he received a degree in criminal justice, while Viniteri went to South Dakota State, where he majored in the mentally strenuous field of “Fitness in Wellness.” Viniteri, in a cool note, was born in Yankton, SD.

By my count, that leaves us with only four wide receivers, but we had only nine linebackers to play four positions, and at least two of them are hurt, and Willie McGinest is still not up to speed. There are two weeks left until She returns. I have no idea who they’re going to cut to make room. They are running out of bodies.

After working all day on Saturday splitting and stacking firewood with Shelly, Joan, and other neighbors and friends, I was wiped out and looking forward to watching the game, which was actually being promoted by the networks. The CBS affiliate in Syracuse had other plans, and decided to air a paid commercial broadcast for a debt-consolidation company.

The Patriots now move into the hard part of their schedule, with games against the Colts, Dolphins, Chargers, Colts, and Broncos, none of whom have any losses.

The loss moves the Pats into what should be about the eighth position in the draft. There are currently three teams that are 0-1 due to byes, and a Washington loss on Monday could raise the Patriots up to ninth.

************************
(10/1/01)
Well, well well. I guess none of us really picked the Patriots, did we? Who could blame us?

Today’s game was not pre-empted for a pay-per-view commercial. It was pre-empted by a Bills game. I’m a lot more humiliated by that.

Since we’re talking about blame, let’s talk about the really important stuff: ice cream. Shelly and I got some of Wegman’s Peanut Butter Cup last week, and the top part of it was pretty not-very peanut buttery. Tonight, I picked out a piece of peanut butter that was four inches long. I blame Bill for this—if he had studied ice cream liquid dynamics like I suggested, it wouldn’t have only solved the problem, but he would have gotten some Wegman’s Gift Cards in addition. And we could have had more ice cream.

In spite of the sounds of this 230-pound e-mail, I went running today with two eight-pound dumbbells. After I put them down, I felt really light. This may have been because I was losing consciousness. My next lap of the track was 6:02, two and a half seconds faster than my previous record lap time.

Looking at the teams around the Patriots in the draft, the Redskins, Bills, Cardinals, and Cowboys lost. Detroit, Chicago, and Tennessee did not play. All the 1-1 teams except Seattle, Carolina, and the loser of Monday night’s game between the Jets and the 49ers won. That means there are seven teams ahead of New England, three teams tied with them, and some more that have other records. Unless I’ve counted wrong, which at this time of the night is more than likely. Sporting news picked Kalimba Edwards for the second week in a row, this time with the eighth pick.

I’ve been doing some more research on defensive ends, because the Liverpool player who asked me to wear his jersey for the Utica Proctor game was a defensive end. (When the teachers were announced at halftime, they called my name by saying, “Former teacher Mr. Sipley--I guess he’s retired too.”) Shelly showed her support for Liverpool by freezing in the stands.) Sporting News lists Dwight Freeney of SU as the 7th best End in the draft this year, but while he is being compared to Derick Alexander, who died last year, he’s also being compared to people who are good in college, but bad in the pros. Apparently, he’s too small for end, and has a lot more success when he’s playing linebacker, which means that the Pats may take him AND Edwards. Significantly, Freeney’s 40 yard dash speed is as fast as most running backs’, and Willie McGinest has been real injured for a real long time.

Significantly, North Carolina defensive end with a madcool name (DEWAMN) Julius Peppers has fallen off the charts. SU center PJ Alexander is listed as the top of the charts, but I don’t see it as likely that we will cut Woody so that we can draft him.

Tebucky Jones has lost his starting position to Matt Stevens. I’d really like to know how Grant Williams can be both the starting left tackle and the backup right tackle and just completely-ass suck at both.

Here’s my new draft. Assume the Patriots pick 10th and don’t act like Belichick is their general manager:

That tight end from Michigan State (pick 10)
Defensive end/linebacker Dwight Freeney (pick 42)
Wide receiver like Lauvernes Coles (who I wanted them to take, and was pissed when the Jets did) (pick 74)
Offensive guard, probably from Michigan because they had good linemen last year (pick 106)
A linebacker
5 (from Jacksonville) trade to Jets for an assistant coach

7. punter

(from NYJ) I’m too tired to finish this.
Good night.

************************
(10/9/01)

With She’s return this week, a lot of the focus was on the wide receivers. Not much is being focused on the defense, though it amazes me that the sixth pick in the draft is unable to crack the starting lineup given the pathetic state of the Pats’ defense. At this point, the Patriots rank 27th on The Sporting News Power Poll, ahead of all the teams that haven’t won a game except for Tennessee.

In order to make room for She on the roster, the Patriots cut Bert Emmanuel, a veteran wide receiver. It’s not as if the Pats’ receivers have been anything fantastic lately, but Emmanuel was also the team’s emergency quarterback. It’s not clear if the Pats are going to have a third quarterback or not, but I have two words I would like Bill Belichick to consider: Ryan Leaf.

Finally, in today’s press conference, Belichick offered some extreme insight into the passing game. He not only used “executition” twice in two sentences, he managed to use the is, is construction that I love so much as well. He’s not just a brain—he’s a linguistic visionary.

Q: What are defenses doing to slow down your passing game? Why are you not able to get it going?

BB: Really what the passing game is, is execution. The passing game is really about execution.


(10/15/01)
Okay, this one is weird. We won. We beat Flutie in Foxboro. That only happens about once every twelve years. Because a lot of the teams in the league are doing well this year, the Patriots' 2-3 record keeps them drafting somewhere between the 10th and 12th spot. Nothing too terrible there.

After the game, they announced that they cut punter Lee Johnson. This is understandable, as the guy is 40 and has been playing really badly recently. But in a roster move that makes it to the all-star team of Patriots' roster moves, in his place, the Pats signed

Defensive Lineman David Nugent

from the Practice Squad.

This means one of three things: either he can punt, Adam Vinatieri is going to take over as the kicker and punter (a strategy often employed unsuccessfully by SU) or the Patriots are going to go for it on every third down.

The updated depth chart should be released tomorrow. Stay tuned.

************************
(10/22/01)

"A look at today's AFC East standings shows the Patriots tied for second place with the Jets, a half-game behind the Dolphins and a half-game ahead of the Colts."
--Boston Herald Website.

"The Patriots had 385 yards in total offense and at one juncture, had 31 points while running just 29 offensive plays."--The USA Today Website
"This is the ultimate. They've screwed themselves out of a good draft pick, and there's no way they will ever make the playoffs." --Dave's analysis to Shelly at the Iroquois McDonald's rest stop on the Thruway and the message from Bill on the machine upon his return home.

Assuming that the Pats pick last of the 3-3 teams, they would choose 18th in the draft. There's the possibility that the Eagles could slip in there if they lose to the Giants, but God, I hope they don't. Before we get to cocky about beating them twice in the same year, let's not forget that there's always hope for next year. With realignment, the Colts will be moving out of the Patriots' division and into the AFC South.

Matt Light is doing really well as the Patriots' left tackle. What has happened to Adrian Klemm? He's currently the backup. In addition, the Patriots have waived former Eagles WR Torrance Small and replaced him with WR Curtis Jackson, who was really shakin' and bacon at the end of last season.

"It's about going out and executing our plays," Brady said. "We executed them today."--That about sums it up.

In a similar way of misusing words for dramatic effect, I would like to propose the latest addition to the Mangled English Vocabulary: to jihad. As in, "When I see Tommy Jones tomorrow on the playground, I am going to jihad his ass," or "Freeney really jihaded Michael Vick on that play, dropping him for a loss of eight. I don't think Vick will be dropping back to pass again anytime soon."

Let's not forget that the Patriots have played and won two games out of the three of which I said they stood a very good chance of losing every single game. I am now going to predict that we will not win the Powerball lottery anytime in the next month.

Remember, it's all about going out and executing. Be sure to have a week where you execute. Or I'll jihad you.

************************
(10/28/01)

Read about how Tebucky is called one of the best special teams players in the NFL and some pretty insightful quotes from the madcoolest of the madcool: (link removed)


I'd like to reiterate my long-held belief that Jason Sehorn is a playboy, a pretty boy, and a sucker who was barbecued repeatedly in the Super Bowl last year. The only reason that he makes the Pro Bowl is because he's a white cornerback. He really sucks.

Lining up against him is Will Allen, who in spite of signing a first round contract this year, I am absolutely as sure as shit engaged in large-scale insurance fraud during the "robbery" of $100,000 dollars of jewelry this summer in Syracuse--before he'd signed a contract. It's a wonder he's not in jail right now.

Tebucky's blocked field goal is largely credited with turning the game around against the Colts last week. Could he be making the Pro Bowl this year?

On another note, I found a baseball card store in Carosel Mall this weekend. Shelly was there too, and she endured me looking through the Patriots cards for several minutes, looking for a Tebucky card. All I could find were cards of McGinest, Bledsoe, She, JR Redmond, Kevin Faulk, and one of Tedy Bruschi and Slade. There was also an old John Hannah card, which was a good reminder that once upon a time, the Pats had a real live pro Bowl offensive lineman, as well as Pat Harlow, who they traded to the Raiders for unexciting draft picks, and Eugene Chung, who they drafted in the first round in '92 (I think) from Virginia Tech and left unprotected in an expansion draft. He looked like he should have played for the Hawaii Rainbows. He was really, really fat.

In injury news, last week, She said that she could play against the Colts in spite of She's hamstring injury. She did not play. In spite of not practicing this week, She is now saying that her leg is in worse condition. Bill Belichick is admitting that he is confused by this development, which is a really polite way of saying that She is a lying-ass bitch.

Unfortunately, She can't be traded at this point. She's grievance over the unpaid signing bonus won't be heard until next fall. If the Patriots lose (which hardly seems likely, but after that last decision, anything's possible) they'd have salary cap dysentery. She is stuck on the team until then.

The Vegas line is 7 1/2 points against the Patriots this weekend when they play the Broncos. I am praying that they don't air another damned Billsorjets game. I'm curious to know--as I'm sure all members of the madcool fans are--who Marsha has picked in this week's pool. The Patriots have been covering the spread pretty well lately...

************************
(11/5/01)
Actually got to see the Patriots play today on national TV. They did this thing where they gave the ball to a running back, and then he ran with it up the middle of the field instead of getting hit two yards behind the line of scrimmage. It was neat.
**************
Adrian Klemm has been put on injured reserve. In two years, he has played in five games. They were all last year. He has only started in one of them.
**************
Terry Glenn is filing suit against the National Football League. I found the article on the Boston Herald website. I'm going to cut and paste it here so that no one thinks that I am making this up.

NEW YORK - New England wide receiver Terry Glenn is suing the NFL. He claims a disability makes it difficult for him to obey certain rules in the league's substance abuse policy.

The NFL is not commenting.

As first reported on the ``NFL Today'' and by CBS, Glenn filed the complaint under the Americans with Disabilities Act. The suit does not specify what disability Glenn suffers.

Glenn claims he should not have been suspended by the league for the first four games of this season for violation of the substance abuse policy. He missed a drug test, left the team without permission the day the suspension was announced and then was suspended for the season by Patriots coach Bill Belichick.

The team suspension was overturned by an arbitrator.

CBS Sportsline.com says people who have seen the suit say Glenn claims his disorder can prevent him from following the league's schedule for follow-up tests.

Copyright 2001 Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.
She-Zinger #1595 heard today during the game. "I guess Terry Glenn is watching this game from home today, and that's probably the best place for him to be. He's got this problem where he thinks that everything revolves around him. He's taken Ryan Leaf's place as the biggest crybaby in the league."

************

While one of the baseball runs will be the play of the day, Troy Brown's touchdown catch was really kind of funny. The thing squirted six feet into the air and five yards back upfield as the ball bounced off the receiver who was defending against David Patten. It flew right into Brown's hands. Patten barbecued the guy with a block, and Brown ran in for the score. Really a nice play.

************************
(11/15/01)
Dates for your calendar, unless you're Bill and hate Star Wars:

April 20-21, 2002: NFL Draft
April 28, 2002: Drunken orgy in celebration of Dave's turning 33.
May 16, 2002: Release of Star Wars II: Revenge of the Clones

This week, the Pats are listed as drafting #21. This puts them in 20th place of 31 teams. This could potentially put them in a Wild Card situation, if they beat the Dolphins and the Jets. They'll also have to beat the Rams this weekend. Whatever.

The Sporting News has the Pats drafting a middle linebacker named Robert Thomas from UCLA because of the injury to Bryan Cox. I've never heard of him. Whatever. I'd still prefer Henninger grad (and Aunt Liz's former student) Marquise Walker, a wide receiver from Michigan. It's also possible that Kalimba Edwards will fall due to a season-ending knee injury.

But I don't think that there's as much madcool talent anywhere in the draft as there is among the guards, where both Ed Ta'Amu (Utah) and Zack Quaccia (Stanford) are available. What could be better?

The Patriots-Rams game will be broadcast on ESPN Sunday night at 8:30, if you can bear to watch.

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(11/19/01)

Well, listening to the licensing agreement that they say during the game revealed that describing the game "without the express written consent of the NFL is prohibited" may make this entry short. I do not have their express written consent to describe the game on November 18 between the Rams and the Patriots.

However, the NFL does not hold license to the feelings that I felt while watching the game.

For example, at the end of the first half, when the Pats had the ball first and goal at the Rams 5, Antowain Smith ran the ball for three and a half yards and "fumbled" at yard four. Anyone could clearly see that his knee was down, but the replay was ruled inconclusive. The Rams then drove for a touchdown. The score was therefore 14-10 Rams instead of 17-7 Patriots. I tell you this not to be describing the game without the express written consent of the NFL, which is prohibited, but to explain why I think that call was total bullshit.

The Patriots played really conservatively and seemed to be going nowhere, but I can tell you that I personally felt much much happier when the Pats opened it up at the end, going 65 yards on 5 plays for their final touchdown. It made me personally wonder why they didn't call such plays earlier in the game.

Unfortunately and fortunately, the Patriots ran out of time. With the Rams winning 24-17, the Pats ran out of timeouts when the Rams had the ball at the Patriots' 8. Mike Martz had Kurt Warner spike the ball four times. He did not try to run the score up. I thought that was really classy of him. It made me sort of proud to have stayed up to watch it to the end. It was nothing like what Miami did to Syracuse this weekend, beating them 59-0 and moving into the #1 ranking in the country. #1 ranking for assholes, if you ask me. Of course, that is a college game that is not covered by NFL licensing rules.

I found it really hard to believe that Marshall Faulk and Torry Holt and Isaac Bruce are as good as they are. They just made really good plays when they needed them, which made me really sad at critical moments of the game.

I was glad to see that Tebucky Jones made some key tackles out there, but usually only after some various Ram had made a large play. It's not very hard for me to believe (because I watched the game) that Kurt Warner had more than 400 yards passing. His passes were really, really good.

It seemed like a lot of Rams got hurt, including first round picks Adam Archuletta (strong side safety) and Damione Lewis (defensive lineman). At the time that I saw this happen, I was sad, because even though I'm not a Rams fan, they are a team to respect. They are fun to watch except when they're beating your favorite team.

It was funny to listen to the announcers fight with one another. They really seemed to be airing their hatred for one another in that positive, joking way that alpha males always seem to use to put one another down. I found this funny because I really don't like alpha males.

I couldn't really tell if the Patriots don't have a pass rush or if the Rams' offensive line was really really good. I wondered this as I watched some of the game. It didn't seem like anyone could get to Kurt Warner.

It also seemed to me that if She had been playing, it would have taken some of the pressure off the other receivers. I really hate She. I guess I can talk about She as much as I want without anyone's express written consent, because She wasn't playing. Again. She's now missed more games due to the hamstring injury than the drug suspension.

In conclusion, I had a really good time watching this game. It was very exciting. It was very close. I was happy and sad to watch it. I wish the Patriots had won but they didn't. I think that Mike Martz looks like my uncle Brad, so I wish that Bryan Cox would line him up and take him out.

If anyone knows how I can write to the NFL to get their consent to write about the games that I watch, please let me know. I would like that as much as I enjoyed watching Terrell Buckley run back that interception for a touchdown in the first quarter. It would make me happy.

Next week, the Saints.

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(11/21/01)

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(11/27/01)

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(11/28/01)

The Patriots season will come down to the Miami game on December 22. The games look very clear from here out. I'm going to try and make a table here. It will probably look fucked up when I mail it. Sorry. This lists opponents and expected outcomes. In the case of a close game (like anything in the AFC West, or Pittsburgh-Cleveland) I'm always assuming the worst for the Pats.

************************
(12/10/01)
-----Original Message-----
From: William W Weiner [mailto:william.w.weiner@rose-hulman.edu]
Sent: Monday, December 10, 2001 8:08 AM
To: Dave Sipley
Subject: Re: Pats


Dave,
Your analysis is correct, or at least almost correct. The one "wrench" in your projections is what happens to the AFC playoff picture when the Pats lose to the Bills. Is it possible that at 9-7 the Patriots could just miss the playoffs, and thus and up with the best record of any team that isn't playing in Week 18 (i.e., the lowest draft pick of any non-playoff team).

Our worst nightmare may still come true!

Bill

P.S. Your editorial piece kicked ass.

Bill,
I agree with your model, but not your execution.
Reincarnationally speaking, they will lose to the Panthers in Week 17. This has something to do with kharma.

************************
(12/12/01)

The Patriots have resigned defensive tackle Susan Neal, a former professional Greco-Roman wrestler.

Neal's football experience includes playing on the Patriots' practice squad in training camp and for the Eagles' training camp during the season.

He bypassed the practice team and has been added to the active roster.

In other news, a Sporting News columnist has looked at recent quarterback trades (Matt Hasselback and Trent Green) and concluded that if the Pats were to trade Bledsoe, he probably wouldn't be worth a first and third round pick. They might just leave him unprotected in the expansion draft, thinking that the Texans wouldn't want to pick up his contract. There's speculation that he also may end up on the Ravens, but they gave up a lot to get Elvis Grbac.

I think they should just trade him to Ottawa.

************************
(1/6/02)

I was fixing a computer at Joan's house for nearly an hour. Actually, I was nearly fixing a computer at Joan's house for an hour. I never really did get it to work. I realized that it was coming up on 2:30 and time for the halftime show, so I flipped on the game to see that the Patriots were being broadcast on national TV.

I guess that's what happens when everyone else turns into a fan of your winning team: you get to see them even when they play terrible teams. Or not see them, if you make the assumption that no one would ever broadcast as boring a game as that one. There were 21,000 people at the game. More people show up to see the Syracuse Crunch.

And the Jets won. It's safe to go back to hating them again. We end up #2 in the conference.

Here's the playoff situation:

If the Ravens win against Minnesota on Monday night (likely)
Pittsburgh bye, plays the weakest winner of the first game in week 2
New England bye, plays the strongest winner of the first game in week 2
#6 New York Jets at #3 Oakland
#5 Ravens at #4 Miami

If the Ravens lose against Minnesota (not likely, as Minnesota has lost to both of the teams with only one victory this year)
Pittsburgh bye, same as above
New England bye, same as above
#6 Seattle at #3 Oakland
#5 Jets at #4 Miami

In short, we are three wins away from winning the SuperBowl.

It was nice to see Jimmy Hitchcock, a former Patriots first round pick now playing for the Panthers, giving Bledsoe a hug on the sidelines. It's also nice to know that Chris Slade is currently playing for them as well.

New England's maligned secondary came up with several interceptions, including two run back for touchdowns. This game also pointed out that while a lot of people have said our run defense was "improving" it still basically sucks.

There won't be a game report next week because WE HAVE A BYE.

************************
(1/10/02)

The Sporting News has the Pats ranked #5 in the PowerPoll this week. The Steelers are #2, and all the other remaining AFC teams are 8, 9, 10, and 11. Only Tampa Bay is ranked lower than they are.

I'm currently working on the Sipley Postulate of Home Depot: One trip to Home Depot actually insures two and a half additional trips to Home Depot. I don't know that this has ever been shown not to be the case, unless the number is acutally higher.

She has been suspended from the Patriots again for the rest of the season because She missed several team meetings. I would imagine the Pats will keep him around until his case is resolved and trade him for a fifth round draft pick. He will play for less than two more seasons. I like what Bryan Cox said: ''It's not a story to us,'' said Patriots linebacker Bryan Cox. ''It's a non-issue. It's been like this all year. What's the difference now?''

I don't know if Cox will play again next year, as he's broken two legs in two seasons, but I'd love to see him kept around somehow as an assistant coach. He may not be the brightest guy in the world, but he does come up with some good quotes. And Cox is about as madcool a name as you can get, when you think about it.

The Patriots will play a week from Saturday at 8:30. If the Jets win, they'll play the winner of the Ravens/Dolphins game. If Oakland wins, they play Oakland. I say that we root for the Jets and the Dolphins. I would love to play Miami in Foxboro on January 19....

Sporting News mock draft has them taking that cornerback again, but I'd really rather see them taking a first-round tight end like Jeremy Shockey of Miami because his name is so madcool. Perhaps they'll be able to unload Bledsoe and get Julius Peppers or some other similarly named madcool player. Who knows? Only three months and eleven days to go.

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(1/22/02)

Everyone has been talking about how 9/11 changed the course of human existence, but shockingly, an article in USA Today last week indicated that nothing at all has changed since then. Who would have believed it. The only actual piece of data that they could come up with showed that 36% of women are spending more time with their dogs, relative to 20% before 9/11. I don't know what those 20% were spending "more than", but we'll not probe too deeply. If Laura Bush says things are changed, then that's good enough for me.

I meant another thing from September that was important. On September 9, after a massive collaboration with Bill, I wrote:

I think that the Patriots will end up going 4-12 this year, but that is a big product of wishful thinking. Two of those wins will be against the Jets, and we’ll know for certain about that after week three. One win will be against either the Falcons or Browns, and the other will be some win at random.
I like Bill’s analysis better than mine. It’s a good thing that we are not playing Dallas this year. We will be fighting them for the lottery pick. As the guy from USA Today wrote this week, “The Houston Texans have made their pick. The Dallas Cowboys are now on the clock.” I’m afraid the Pats will finish no better than fifth: Houston, Dallas, Bears, Browns, and us. Either the Panthers or Falcons may be competitive, but will trail off at the end of the season. I think that the December 9th matchup against the Browns will be key.

Who knew that just a few days later, the whole world (and draft order, which is what we care about) would be turned upside down?

Notice, too that I picked the Bears to finish second-worst. Notice too, that while the Patriots cut Larry Whigham at the beginning of the season, he made the Pro Bowl as a special teams player from the Bears.

I'd like to welcome a new member to the Madcool Patriots Fans list, Patty Bybee. As is the tradtion with this group, I'm adding her without permission. Patty is a birthmother, grandmother, and is a very good friend of mine through Bastard Nation. She's been a Pats fan for longer than I have. I lost her address in the great Microsoft Outlook Wipeout of 2001. It's weird to think that when I was corresponding with Patty, it was 1997. Back then Bill and Marsha, and Chris and Goldi weren't married. Gary and I were living on Teall. Shelly wasn't even a hallucination. No one had any degrees, and Chris still had all those Nagle prints on the wall. We've come a long way, guys. Let's not let up just two games before the Super Bowl of life. Or something like that.

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(1/28/02)
Part I-Kristin Ha ha
I need to start this game report by laughing publicly at Kristin, who I have reason to believe would have rooted for the Steelers on the grounds that Kordell Stewart is cute or that she likes the Steelers or something. Too bad.

It's also a strange little piece of irony that Judy Morningstar, the woman who took my job at Liverpool, is a huge Steelers fan. I wanted to send her an e-mail, asking if she thought that we'd be in the positions we were in at this point, but I never got around to it.

Part II-Sushi
The Shockmain Davis Memorial Sushi Bowl III will be held Sunday afternoon, February 3, time TBA. Although Tebucky Jones did come up with a clutch interception (he did, after all, clutch the ball) today and is playing a much larger role on the team when Sushi Bowls I and II were named after him, Shockmain Davis did have a madcool name and graduated from Shelly's alma mater, the San Angelo State Boll Wevills. (Or maybe it was the Killer Locusts.) Shockmain didn't make the final cut this year, and in fact, he didn't even make it to the cut before the final cut. But he did have a madcool name, and that's what we're all about on the Madcool Patriots Fans mailing list.

Because most people are skeeved out by the thought of eating raw fish for whatever reason, I'll probably get just enough tuna for the brave sole-s and get vegetables for anyone who gets crab-by about it. (This is bait. If someone wants to take the hook, feel free.) I suppose we'll get some chips too.

Rams fans will be provided with "Brown vs. Board Seperate but Equal" seating on our back deck. The view is good, but the heating is separate.

We plan on having inadequate seating, beer, food, and televisions, so hopefully, if you're into pain and large gatherings of people you barely know, it will be fun. Shelly and I hope you show up.

Part III-What happened
The Patriots won. No one thought that they would. I heard this week that they were the only team that didn't have any players on the NFL "This is the playoffs and you win or you're out" ads. As Bill pointed out, Shannon Sharpe (and Tony Siragusa) of the Ravens are still on the air, even though they were eliminated last week.

The Pats were nine point underdogs and won by seven. No one picked them to win. Remember, on September 9th, I predicted a 4-12 season, and the third pick in the draft. Instead, they're on the way to the Superbowl in New Orleans again. With this in mind, I'd like to explicitly say that I am not going to win the $12 million Lotto drawing this next week. There is no way that's going to happen.

The thing is that New Orleans scares me. I remember when they lost to the Bears. Wasn't it 55-10? A defensive end named "Refrigerator" scored a touchdown on them. The Bears invented that Super Bowl shuffle that we had to endure. It was as if the Patriots were an afterthought. They never really showed up for the game. While '96 was closer, that was the year that Bill Parcells told the media he'd be leaving the team after the game, then he denied it. The place has bad Patriots memories attached to it. Now the Rams are rolling into town, and they'll be double-digit favorites. It's scary.

It's especially scary because God is apparently on the Rams' side. In interviews after their game, Kurt Warner thanked God for assembling such great talent onto one football team. His all-powerful involvement clearly gives the Rams an unfair advantage when recruiting free agents. Aeneas Williams, holding his son Lazarus, a fact that will have to escape without comment, also thanked God for releasing him from his contract in Arizona so that he could reach his full potential elsewhere. While Williams did not thank the Rams for providing second and fourth round draft picks to procure that same release, thanking the Almighty for getting away from the Cardinals is certainly understandable.

To the best of my knowledge, no one from the Patriots thanked God for anything, because I switched over to the other game, so I missed all the interviews. I'm pretty certain that no one thanked me for having worn my lucky green socks.

Tebucky Jones had an interception today. The Patriots scored an offensive touchdown, bringing their total for the post-season to two.

I'm finding that I'm having a really weird thought when I'm watching these games. It's almost like I don't believe that the Patriots belong there, and I'm hoping that they get a first down to keep the other team's offense off the field for another couple of minutes. I'm not thinking of touchdowns. I'm thinking of first downs. Somehow, they are still winning, in spite of my significantly lowered expectations.

Part IV--What Will Happen
Across America, 73 million people will say that they "only watch the Superbowl for the ads." They will all think that they are being original, and most will think they are being funny. Those of us that like the Patriots will instead wish they were thanking God for having them get a first down.

The pre-game show is three hours long. We will have to hear endless stories about their incredible turnaround. We'll have to see repeats of last week's "interception/fumble". We'll have to hear how it's a bad rule, but it was the correct call, with the tone in the announcer's voice indicating that the Patriots made the Super Bowl because the rules of football are flawed. On the bright side, this three hour period will be relatively short, compared to the eternity that I'll be spending in hell watching Jets games for rooting against God's Chosen Team.

I'm not sure how you defend against a team that an immortal being has put together. At the very least, the advantages conveyed by having an omniscient scouting department is huge. I would imagine that the Patriots will try to deal with it by using a lot of screen passes and various defensive schemes.

Liz has said something about a Playboy Centerfold Fear Factor on during or around the game. Are they going to make the Centerfolds walk in front of 100,000 fans without their airbrushing on? Will there be 80,000 people screaming, "You're fat" in unison? I don't know.

The game? Who knows? I just watch it for the Centerfolds, especially Damien Woody. I think it's safe to say that a naked 320 pound man named "Woody" would easily be something that could be featured on my personal version of Fear Factor.

It seems that yesterday, the picture of Drew Bledsoe on the headline of the Pats' website was replaced with one of David Patten. What happens if Bledsoe remains hurt, Brady starts and wins the game, is voted MVP and gets traded to Detroit for a sixth-round pick?

The Patriots are 14 1/2 point underdogs, the third largest point spread in SuperBowl history. However, they do have a secret weapon. Wide receiver Fred Coleman is a former XFL player. This is so secret that their website won't even acknowledge it. When the Patriots and Rams met during the regular season, the Patriots lost by only one touchdown, but Kurt Warner got 401 yards passing on them.

Because they are playing in the SuperBowl, the Patriots will pick no better than 31st in the April draft. They won't have to release the list of guys that they are putting up for the expansion draft until after the game. I read today that She won't be one of the people on the list. Because of suspensions, She wasn't on the team before September 9 or after November 25, so She will remain on the Patriots roster until next year. They won't be able to send She off to Houston, which might be a good punishment for She. I would imagine next year when She is playing for the Saskatchewan Rough Riders of the Canadian Football League, She will thank God for giving She the ability to go and play somewhere where She is wanted. Sasketchewan is in Canada, somewhere near Arizona.

In Conclusion
Bring chips, beer, your Patriots jockey shorts or anything else that makes you feel festive. Wear your lucky green socks. Talk to your television and tell it good plays to run.

Buy a Lotto ticket.

************************
(1/29/02)
While everyone else is trying to spend the week before the Super Bowl, generating interest by manufacturing a quarterback crisis, or praising Bill Belichick's genius, or not talking about Terry Glenn (She's doing fine, by the way), we are missing a great money-making opportunity. And I'm not talking about that 14-point spread, either.

Lotteries are considered a tax on people who can't do math by several people on this list. They are also considered a great source of fantasy income for others, as in "I'm going to win the lottery and not give any money to my sisters."

The odds of winning the New York Lotto are approximately 54 million to 1.

The pre-season odds of the Patriots even appearing in the Super Bowl are about 54 jillion to 1.

Therefore, why don't you play your favorite players' numbers and make yourself rich when you win?

As a public service, the Madcool Patriots Fans list is providing some of those numbers for you here:

Adam "My contract is up for renewal and I keep winning games" Vinatieri #4
Drew "I am a gentleman, but a walking sack risk" Bledsoe #11
Tom "I am hot, but can't speak English worth a damn" Brady #12
Tedy "What cooler name in the world is there than Brew-ski" Bruschi #54
Stephen "Yes, I was a professional wrestler but am now an offensive lineman" Neal #61
Je'Rod "I'm getting a Ph.D. in history, so don't confuse me with my evil twin J'Juan" Cherry #30
Tebucky "I like running around and tackling shit" Jones #34
Bryan "Always good for a soundbite" Cox #51
Kevin "What the" Faulk #33
Lawyer "Somebody call a Doctor" Milloy #36
Ty "The Spirit of the" Law #24
Antowain "Another unrestricted free agent who I dare you not to resign after that Curtis Martin thing" Smith #32

Good luck, and may all the squares in your pools be 7's and 4's this weekend.

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(1/30/02)
I think that we might have an all-time madcool name on our hands here.

There was an article about Roman Phifer in today's Boston Herald. I knew that he was a Ram for eight years, leaving in free agency just before the Rams went to the Super Bowl in 2000. I didn't realize that he was named for Rams QB Roman Gabriel.

However, the article contained this jewel as well:

``It'll be exciting Sunday, especially playing against them,'' said Phifer, whose middle name, Zubinski, was taken out of a phone book by his father."

This leads to a couple of important questions, namely,

Does this impart an Italian-Polish heritage on Phifer?

Would Chris promise to use this technique if the opportunity ever presented itself again? (Tebucky Preston Passaglia has a certain ring to it. )

Hope you're revving up for a quiet afternoon with hundreds of your closest friends.

************************
(2/1/02)
They score 28 in the first, then don't score again until the fourth, when they score another touchdown win it 38-35 on Vinatieri's field goal in the last minute.

-----Original Message-----
From: Weiner, Marsha [mailto:WEINERM@bsci.com]
Sent: Friday, February 01, 2002 11:55 AM
To: 'Bill'; 'Dave'; 'Shelly'
Subject: pool numbers


The pool is complete!!!! Here are numbers we have...

box 1 = rams-4/pats-8
box 2 = rams-6/pats-7

The second box isn't too bad. But an 8 for the patriots???? I think we need Dave to mathematically figure out how the Patriots can end up with an 8 somehow...for all four quarters....

The payout is $50 for quarters 1-3 and $150 for the final score.

GO PATRIOTS!!!!!!

************************
(2/3/02)
The Patriots are Superbowl champions.

That just doesn't sound right.

The Patriots are Superbowl champions.

I had two strokes and a heart attack. Or maybe the other way around. I still can't believe it.

Think about what this implies: they're the best team in the NFL. Now everyone will try to beat them. They'll have to play the best teams on their schedule next year. They'll pick 32nd in the draft instead of 31st. Rookie tackle Matt Light hurt his ankle, and we had to endure Grant Williams at tackle. Tom Brady was voted MVP and will now get a really big contract. Unrestricted free agents Antowain Smith and Adam Vinatieri will demand more money. Patriots fans everywhere will have to put up with Raiders fans talking smack about "the fumble". (Raiders fans tend to be idiots.) Now they will have to win another one just to prove that this one wasn't an accident.

And everyone will say that they believed it would happen all along. Just today, USA Today talked about the possibility of an upset, while at the same time writing that the Rams' coach Mike Martz was in the midst of building "a dynasty."

There was one really questionable call in the game. The Madcool Patriots Fans' favorite player Tebucky Jones picked up a fumble and ran it back for a touchdown. It was called back because Willie McGinest was holding Marshall Faulk--within the five yard zone on a play-action pass. What a terrible call, even if the Sporting News called it "obvious". Tebucky was robbed, and the Rams went on to score. It was a 14-point turnaround.

I'm surprised that Tom Brady was selected as Superbowl MVP. I'm suprised that it wasn't Bill or me, each of us wearing very lucky socks. Bill's decision to go with lucky yellow socks just before gametime may have made all the difference in the win, though my twelve-year old "Delta Force: Terrorists Beware" bandana may have had something to do with it.

At the last minute, the Syracuse gathering was relocated to Dave and Liz's house so that our grandparents could attend. The hill at our place was too steep and too icy at this point to get a car up. I was really glad to be able to plunk down in front of their bigscreen TV. Anyone that tells you that size doesn't matter may be talking about the Patriots offensive line. They are certainly not talking about televisions.

After the game, Shelly told me that if she'd had a big jug of Gatorade, she would have dumped it on my head. The fact that we were at someone else's home may have had something to do with it as well. Marty even called to leave a message that someone had forgotten to call the Patriots and tell them that it wasn't supposed to be a game. Even when they win, they don't do it right.

It was nice to see that this game was such a team effort. Seventeen of the twenty points that the Pats scored came on turnovers. Ironically, in five days, Bill Belichick must release the names of five players for the Houston Texans expansion draft.

No AFC East team has won the Superbowl since Miami did, twenty-six years ago.

Only 51 weeks to Superbowl 37.

Until then, the Patriots are Superbowl champions.

We knew it would happen all along.

Copyright Dave Sipley
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