PILOTing A Tax-Free Course

We should all get such a deal

To the editor:

My wife and I are in the process of buying a house in the city, but unless we are granted some changes to the local taxes, we are going to walk away from the deal. Since we're following the example set by our neighbor Pyramid, no one should have problems accepting our demands.

The property is going to need a new garage. The city should issue bonds to pay for its construction and other infrastructure improvements like a new driveway. We'll pay for the bonds instead of property taxes. Why should we have to pay taxes, which would only lead to basic city services like fire and police protection, a school system, snowplowed streets, flushable toilets and garbage pickup? I want somewhere to park my car. That shouldn't be any problem since the Carousel Center already got a similar deal.

We're moving into the city at a time when many people are moving out. The trickle down effect of our being in the city will create jobs, especially in shopping malls. It's time for the city to pay us back for our efforts to help the local economy: don't make us pay taxes.

Since we negotiated the deal on the house several weeks ago, we've gotten a "new vision" including an indoor pool, a sauna, a Jacuzzi, a gymnasium, a movie theater, and an elevator. As Bruce Lorenz of Pyramid asked, why should we "go back to do something less, just because a year ago [we] thought that made sense?" In order to finance the deal that will cost nearly one and half times what made sense a few weeks ago, someone will need to pay. There's no reason why it should be us. The county should declare our new property an Empire Zone. That way the money that we pay on the bonds will be refunded to us on our state tax returns. Pyramid would receive $170 million in refunds over ten years, and so should we.

Pyramid's proposed 4000 tax-free hotel rooms would be double the size of the Marriott Marquis hotel in Times Square, and it might put more strain on city services than our three-bedroom tax free mansion, but fair is fair.

Any city or county legislator should tell us to go bully some other cash-strapped community, and that if we want to build our house, we should use our own money to do it. That might even be considered the American way. We're taking a different American way to get what we want: the temper tantrum. If we don't get these changes, we'll drop the deal completely. We don't want to wait for the county's decision, either. We'll need to know before the year is over.

It may seem arrogant of us (and Pyramid) to dictate our treatment to the government. Some would consider it selfish that my wife and I (and Pyramid) don't shoulder our fair share of local taxes. But we aren't being unfair, self-centered, or obnoxious. We're just using corporate welfare to become your tax-free neighbors.

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This piece ran in the Syracuse Post-Standard on Saturday, December 8. They inserted a paragraph break in paragraph #8 and changed "Carousel Center" to "Carousel mall."
This piece is 504 words. I was told by their editorial staff that their target is 250.
In order to exceed that standard length, my piece would have to be "Hemminway-esque" or it would be a "hard sell."
I thought it was rather snooty of the editor to say that.
Now I'm pissed because he insulted Hemmingway.

An editorial by my uncle John Stamey against church-led limitations on scientific research ran on the same page. That was really cool. As it took place around the 25th anniversary of my diagnosis with diabetes, and in the same year that the lesser of two Bushes has effectively banned stem-cell research, I was especially glad to see it.